3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
