I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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