she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
