Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
