Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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