You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
