that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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