never play flip cup with pint glasses
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
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he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
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It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.