yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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