So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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