You just made me feel so damn special
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
