Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i out mim tonsoeep
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