That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize