My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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