I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
