Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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