New invention idea: vibrating tampons
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
