You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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