oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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