TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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