Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
worst night to have a conscience
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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