HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
two words: eviction party
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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