Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
