I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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