Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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