I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
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Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
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I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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