Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
