I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
