yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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