how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
this just has baby written all over it
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
