Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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