I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
