Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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