Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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