So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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