allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
