i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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