I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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