she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm sobbing to NWA
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
