so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i love accidental penises.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
