The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
