So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize