pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
