I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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