you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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