ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You've changed since you got that strap on
Drunk is a universal language darling
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