He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
