Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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