Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
