Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
