ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
