thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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