So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
