My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
