..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
this just has baby written all over it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
