Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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