Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize