his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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