I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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