y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
As shirtless as possible
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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